Rude Haiku

do you smell something?
i think it’s coming from you
stinky, dirty socks

dead leaves all around
brown-green soup in which i stand
reminds me of poop 

one does not do what
one would like to do in class
sex is not allowed

i *heart* hoopty-loops!
but then again, who doesn’t?
he’s a luuuuuv machine!

the very first time
i saw your face, i thought of
smackin’ yer hot ass!

man, that guy is hot!
wish i could get in his pants!
he’s got a nice ass!

i need a brownie
something to make me feel good
like wild monkey sex

funny little toad
i will call you kumquat brain
trounce you with my jugs

aka cooties
so, does he really have them?
they make cream for that

negative nancy
naysay til your face is blue
ignore you i will

should I knock him out?
tie him up and drag him off?
make him my sex slave?

see my bubble butt
swishing, swaying on the floor
care to dance with me?

see the pretty boobs?
wiggle, jiggle up and down!
you no like, no look!

smack that ass again!
whack it with your open palm!
eep! my bum is red!

whoa! got fired, you say?
wonder why that happened to
an asshole like you?

wonder what they’ll do
when ultimate dream comes true
turbo charged motor

watch my jelly shake
bootylicious, yes i am
you want some o’ dis?

like a loaf of bread
you rise to the occasion
how hard that must be

insert batteries
power up to take a ride
prepare for take off 
bulging banana
straining against fabric cell
mind if i peel you?

i’d like some cream, please
put it right between my thighs
you can have some, too

i feel nekkid now. 
wonder if he’d like to be
my lap dance victim.

beautiful, bouncy,
perky, soft and firm to touch
got milk? anyone?

maybe we’ll go out
and celebrate your demise
put it on your tab

see her shake her stuff
cindy is bootylicious
better tip her well

you never complain
or roll over and pass out
sure wish you could cook 
why are you smiling?
is it that growth in your pants?
let it out to play!

i’m on the table
my muffin needs some butter
bet you have a knife 

early in the day
right when dawn kisses the sky
you should give me tongue

dancing in the sheets
the horizontal mambo
exercise of choice

i’m a lusty wench
put your hand up my skirt and
pinch my bottom, hoss

look at how it grows
lick it to make it bigger
lollipop of luv


2 Responses to Rude Haiku

  1. kane says:

    Kick you in the balls,
    Shit on your fucking cunt face,
    run away laughing

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