Barstool Haiku

one foot in the grave
it smells really bad in there
think i’ll walk away

yeah, prez got hit on
ew, she was a crack-whore bitch
hah! look at him run

mmm, that guy is hot
sure would like to take him home
give this girl a bone

cindy is my friend
don’t you love her pretty hair?
get away, you freak!

cindy missed out
last call was called, oh boy
ouch, it’s early

eye rite gud win drunk
make plenty stupids, no help me.

pressley is drooling
smell the pantene aroma
elissa is here

pressley you damn twit!
that is not duran duran!
i will kick your head!

i like to drink beer
ashley is the bartender
randall sings bad songs

listen to them sing
jagermeister is my friend
he makes them sound… good?

smack-weasel mofo
yes, that is clay’s middle name
he likes butt cheeks too

that is not your chair
you better move now, bitch boy
shave that moustache too


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