Oh. Em. Gee. I may be in jail by the end of this work day. For reals.
One of my trainees has this habit that is urging me to down a bottle of Jager and go on a killing spree. He sucks his teeth. You know? That irri-fucking-tating slurpy-sucking sound like the person making it is trying to pull a small woodland creature through their mouth bones?! Well, it’s one of my pet peeves. I HATE that noise. And he’s making it. Over and over and OVER. AND OVER. Like every 30 seconds.
I’m already extremely stabby today. It’s my Friday, but it started off rotten, and keeps getting worse. Slow traffic, stolen parking spaces, sucky emails, broken badge, and now… THIS. And he keeps doing it! Gah! Ever heard of floss, pal? WTF is stuck in there?!?
I don’t think this asshat is gonna last long. Right now, he’s making me want a couple of candy bars. One to schkoff and one to shove down his fucking throat. If he’s choking, maybe he’ll stop sucking his mutha-fuckin’ teeth. Maybe he’ll pass out from lack of oxygen and make the rest of my day awesome.
Ah, blessed silence, I long for you so.
Fuck it. I’m going on a hunt for duct tape. See if he can suck through that.
FYI – I drop the F bomb a LOT when I’m cranky-pants. Just in case you hadn’t already noticed.