Balls Deep in Weenis

So being a good little Pagan, I know it wasn’t a full moon last night, but lemme tell ya, the freaks were out, and it was a sac convention! I really need to stop hanging out at early morning late night bars. But then, where else am I going to find those after-dark oddities (I’m talking about people, not drugs) that sizzle my noodle into a crispy fritter, and stimulating make-out sessions with hot bartenders?

Right on.

It all started with some drunk (imagine that) dude who was celebrating his birthday. As a present to himself, he decided to light his balls on fire – just to show that he could. Or maybe it was because he didn’t have a cake and candles and he thought his trouser eggs were the next best thing. One of my friends asked to borrow my lighter, but when I found out what it was for, I said hell no! declined. Hot bartender came through with a pack of matches. I think the birthday boy managed to get one, tiny hair on his scrotum to burn. I guess his pants weren’t as hot as he imagined. What a waste.

After this display, it was on. ALL the guys wanted to plop their junk in a barstool. And those that didn’t plonk their stuff on a stool just lifted their shorts and grabbed a handful and said, “Hey! Look what I can do!” So I did look. I love a train wreck!

And another thing: Do you know what a weenis is? I didn’t until last night. I had a weenis three way. It wasn’t very satisfying. In fact, one weenis was a little dirty – and I don’t mean in a sexy-sexy way. And there was no protection involved. And we did it more than once. And the repeat performances were no better than the original. I was exhausted from faking it. The whole experience made me long for strange nuts.

Synopsis: I was balls deep in weenis. But I like sports, so it was a good night.


3 Responses to Balls Deep in Weenis

  1. robinaltman says:

    I really need to get out more. That is amazing. I’m in awe. I’ve never seen anyone take their balls out in public. Never. If you had asked me two minutes ago I would have said it doesn’t happen.

    I’m going to go light my pubic hair on fire to prove I can still keep up.

  2. Jay says:

    Is there a bar out there where someone can witness the female equivalent of this? Without paying a $10 cover and $20 per dance?

  3. Tracy says:

    Pray tell, Jamie…what the hell is a weenis?

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