I’m pleased to say, the “crud” has nearly been defeated. It was an uphill battle for a while, but those spongy organs lodged in my thorax finally rallied to the cause and evicted Mucus and his minions from my respiratory system. That’s right, my babies. Snotty McPhlegmerson has left the building. And good riddance! Here’s a lame haiku dedicated to the former rattle in my chest.
phlegm covered rattle
residing in heaving chest
not safe for children
While I was convalescing, I met someone. I’m not usually into hairy dudes, but this guy makes me laugh, and he loves to feed me, so he was kinda hard to resist. I swear, Weight Watchers, I really tried, but Hungry won me over with his charm… and pizza and hot dogs and ice cream and cookies and cake. It’s a good thing he doesn’t mind when I’m bloated and gassy, because I washed all that shit down with a 12 pack of suds (buuuuurp). Hungry didn’t judge me. He just gave me a high-five for holding my liquor, and not hurling the goodies he shoveled down my gullet. I love that about him. I’ve always dreamed of being involved with someone who can appreciate a little fluff on a gal. I think I’ve found Mr. Right.