Tight End

I left work early today to get my hair cut. My hair is extremely curly when it’s long, and lately, it’s been looking like a home for birds and rats. So, I wanted something radically different. Something short and sassy. Something like this:


I figured I’d try to save some money and not go to the high-priced salon that I normally go to, where they massage your scalp before chopping your locks, and offer you free drinks and a discount on a mani/pedi since you’re already there and primed to sell your soul for beauty. No, I didn’t go there. Instead, I went to one of those price-cutter joints where the cut is as cheap as the clientele. This one came highly recommended by two girls at work (who have really good cuts… until I come at them with scissors tomorrow, that is). Two girls who are now on my list of people to kill with sticks.

I came out looking worse than Sally Field in Steel Magnolias.

Football Helmet Hair

Football Helmet Hair

I got home and sobbed hysterically for half an hour, but hey, at least I’ll fit in with the local high school football team. My only problem now is whether to play wide receiver or tight end.

Note to self: Spend the buck or look like fuck.


6 Responses to Tight End

  1. Steve says:

    Does that mean I should start calling you M’Lynn?

  2. Steve says:

    Then M’Lynn you shall be.

  3. Pure Evyl says:

    Who knows that style might be making a comeback.

  4. Steve: When this coiffing nightmare is over, you may cease and desist with the M’Lynn moniker, and resume calling me “gorgeous goddess.” Please and thank you. 😉

    Evyl: Nooooooooooooooooooo!

  5. Deviant Author says:

    Fwiw, I went to the same sort of place back in the spring to get the first haircut in years–I needed it and my hair was down past my waist.

    I explained what I wanted. I explained my hair and why I did not need it to be cut above my chin, the shape of my face dictates that I need my hair angled around my face to go inward and that I like it not any shorter than shoulder length. I demonstrated by picking out several pictures which were easy enough to see what I was talking about.

    Lo and behold, the idiot twunt bint who cut two feet of hair off my length wasted another four or six inches by not cutting it the way I asked/told her to.

    She cut it the way she wanted to and what she thought I should have rather than what I asked for, and it was utterly gross and up above my chin which does not work for me because it makes me look even fatter. (That’s the last time I let someone who doesn’t have the same ethnicity as myself cut my hair. If that makes me a racist bitch, so be it. She didn’t grasp the texture of my hair in the context it needed to be cut, obviously. Yes, I left nasty feedback on that site and informed them that I would never darken their doors again because of the atrocious haircut I paid for at their place. I’ll go back to cutting it myself.)

    So yeah. I hated it for a good four or six weeks. I wore it pulled up as much as I could so I wouldn’t have to look at it or deal with it.

    Then one night, I went to bed with it wet and slept on it.

    When I got up the next morning, I brushed it. It was somewhat tolerable.

    Yeah, I know. I’m too old to be walking around with hip length hair, but I don’t have much choice because here, the longer the hair, the more they charge you for the haircut.

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