Someone sent this to me in email. I’m following these guidelines rigidly at work.
- January – Customer Disservice Because we’re not satisfied until you’re not satisfied.
- February- Consulting. If you’re not a part of the solution, there’s good money to be made in prolonging the problem.
- March – Give Up. At some point, hanging in there just makes you look like an even bigger loser.
- April – Discovery. A company that will go to the ends of the Earth for its people will find it can hire them for about 10% of the cost of Americans.
- May – Procrastination. Hard work often pays off after time, but laziness always pays off now.
- June – Consistency. It’s only a virtue if you’re not a screwup.
- July – Challenges. I expected times like this – but I never thought they’d be so bad, so long, and so frequent
- August – Idiocy. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
- September – Meetings. None of us is as dumb as all of us.
- October – Motivation. If a pretty poster and a cute saying are all it takes to motivate you, you probably have a very easy job. The kind robots will be doing soon.
- November – Planning. Much work remains to be done before we can announce our total failure to make any progress.
- December – Teamwork. A few harmless flakes working together can unleash an avalanche of destruction.