Due to the fact that today was the third day in a row that I’ve exercised, I’m thoroughly convinced that the real me has been replaced by a pod-person sleeper agent (chocolate is the trigger). This is probably the work of the temporal agents from the future. They’ve got it in for the big girls!
I feel good! This is a completely new feeling for me! If I’d known how energized exercising would make me feel (and how annoying it would make me to tired people), I’d have been doing it all the time – even in my sleep! Why didn’t anyone tell me? I mean, besides all the infomercials, internet health sites, magazine articles, and TV specials about it… besides those inconsequential conveyances (and who really watches TV or reads or surfs the internet anyway?) there’s just no awareness about this amazing discovery. The skinnyboppers have selfishly been keeping the magic of exercise a secret all these years so they can remain at the top of the food chain! Bastards!
I’ve got to stop talkin’ smack about the skinny folk. I plan to be a supermodel next year, and they might not let me in the club if word gets out that I’m doing the late night slender-slander circuit.
This post was a little… (mentally) empty. I might need a snack.