Oh. Em. Gee. I may be in jail by the end of this work day. For reals.
One of my trainees has this habit that is urging me to down a bottle of Jager and go on a killing spree. He sucks his teeth. You know? That irri-fucking-tating slurpy-sucking sound like the person making it is trying to pull a small woodland creature through their mouth bones?! Well, it’s one of my pet peeves. I HATE that noise. And he’s making it. Over and over and OVER. AND OVER. Like every 30 seconds.
I’m already extremely stabby today. It’s my Friday, but it started off rotten, and keeps getting worse. Slow traffic, stolen parking spaces, sucky emails, broken badge, and now… THIS. And he keeps doing it! Gah! Ever heard of floss, pal? WTF is stuck in there?!?
I don’t think this asshat is gonna last long. Right now, he’s making me want a couple of candy bars. One to schkoff and one to shove down his fucking throat. If he’s choking, maybe he’ll stop sucking his mutha-fuckin’ teeth. Maybe he’ll pass out from lack of oxygen and make the rest of my day awesome.
Ah, blessed silence, I long for you so.
Fuck it. I’m going on a hunt for duct tape. See if he can suck through that.
FYI – I drop the F bomb a LOT when I’m cranky-pants. Just in case you hadn’t already noticed.
Maybe you can leave your dentist’s card on his desk. If he doesn’t get the hint, just knock his teeth out.
My co-worker has threatened to leave floss on his desk. I don’t think he’d get the hint. Knocking out the teeth is looking pretty good.
My co-worker does this — it must be one of those “ticks” that people with Tourette’s Syndrome can have — because they do it while talking (after every other word there’s that teeth sucking sound). They also talk to themselves, snort and sneeze…..all day long. They have allergies and I believe it won’t be long now before I completely lose what’s left of my mind.